Ways To Get the Flock To Hate You
by LizTheBookNerd
Summary: Thoughts that would make the members of the Flock want to kill you! Chapter 9: Dylan...Again! Read and Review please!
1. My Favorite Emo Bird Kid :D

_A/N: Since I'm sick and have nothing better to do I decided to start a new fanfic. My first victim is my favorite emo birdkid Fang!_

_Disclaimer: Last time I checked, I was a 13 year old girl, not a man.......so no copyright intended_

_FANG_

_1. In the middle of the night cut Fangs hair and color it the color of the rainbow. (I recommend sleeping with one eye open when he figure out it was you.)_

_2. Remind him that he broke Max's heart when she caught him kissing Lissa aka the red hair wonder._

_3. Ask him why he has a dog name._

_4. Ask him why he likes someone with a guy name. Then accuse him of being gay. (I don't think max is a very common girl name.)_

_5. Ask him if he is a gay/emo/ninja constantly. When he yells at you to shut up, start crying and punch him where it hurts.(Poor Fang)_

_6. Replace all of his clothes with pink shirts and yellow skinny jeans. (No offense if you're a guy and you wear this, it's just not very Fangish...)_

_7. Hide all of the knives. When he ask where they went tell him you hid them so he wouldn't cut himself._

_8. Lock him in a closet with a sugar-high Nudge and Gazzy who just finished a can of beans._

_9. Tell him Max would rather date Sam and Iggy._

_10. Make him read fanfics where he dumps Max for Iggy. _

_A/N: My favorite was number 7. I think number 8 would really torture almost everyone. Ok, next is Max. If you want to send in suggestions either include them in a review or P.M me. Or if you have some ideas for fang send them in and i might do a bonus chapter for him. And if you don't still send in a review. reviews make my heart smile!!!!!!!!!!! _


	2. Maximum

A/N: Thanks for all the awesome reviews. They are much appreciated! And sorry for last chapter being all italicised and thanks to Emmafer to pointing that out. Anyways on with the story and ways for me to torture Max

Disclaimer: On my birth certificate nowhere does it say James Patterson

Max

1. Tell her stories were Fang and Nudge get together ( no offense if you like this kinda story. ) **-4EvEr-sistersgrimm-Lover**

2. Make her watch 12 hours of Jeb and Ari having father-son 'Bonding time' and all that other male stuff **-I Don't Do Caps, I Do SHIFT!!**

3. Make Max play football and forget to tell Max they're supposed to tackle you. Mention it after she is done beating up the other team.

4. Make her watch animal planet all day. (Some of that stuff can be torture if you know what I mean.....)

5. Remind her that she killed her own half-brother.

6. When she's at Walmart shout really loudly "Hey look, there are erasers over there!"

7. Remind her her own father is a white coat.

8. Put Max on Valium, then record her and post it on Youtube. (which i also don't own.)

9. Replace all of her clothes with pink stuff, dresses, and skirts.

10. Buy her a chicken sandwich. When she goes to take a bite, call her a cannibal.

A/N: Remember review and send in suggestions for Iggy! for Max my favorite was 6. Oh, and Merry Christmas! Hope everyone gets a bunch of good stuff. Or, if you dont celebrate Christmas happy whatever you celebrate!


	3. Iggy Part one

A/N:Since I've gotten so many suggestions for Iggy, I'm doing more than one chapter for him. This chapter is just going to be my awesome reviewers ideas and I should have part 2 up very soon.

disclaimer: I own nothin'

Iggy

1. Shout, "Hey look, oh wait I forgot, you're blind" **-Nighthawk21**

2. Ask him something about being a sexist pig and not being able to see the girls. **-googlefish**

3. Make him chose between Ella and Nudge. **-myimmortal527**

4. Tell him he's wearing a pink shirt and then offer to switch with a purple dress. **-KiraKia**

5. Move all the furniture around. **-KiraKia**

6. Make him listen to Nudge for a hour. **-KiraKia**

7. Tell him Gazzy steals his underwear every night and nobody can figure out what he does with them. **-tarynmunchkin**

8. Tell him his food came to life and he's never allowed to cook again. **-tarynmunchkin**

9. Make a smoothie and forget to put the lid on the blender then blame the outcome on Ig. **-tarynmunchkin**

10. Tell him Nudge has naked pictures of him stuffed under her mattress and in her shoes. **-tarynmunchkin**

11. Shout at him for never waving back when you wave at him. **-tarynmunchkin**

12. Put the food Fang hates in every one of Iggy's dishes when he's not looking. **-tarynmunchkin**

13. Tell him that Fang replaced all the music on his iPod with My Chemical Romance. **-tarynmunchkin**

A/N: You don't have to review for this one if you don't want to. But you still can. As you are reading this I'm typing up my ideas for Iggy. Poor Iggy! :'(


	4. My favorite Blind Mutant

A/N: Ok, now it's time for my ideas for my favorite blind pyro. I liked max and fangs better but here we go

Disclaimer: Trust me, if i ever own anything as great as maximum ride I'll tell you.

Iggy......again

1. When he has to use the bathroom somewhere in public lead him to the girls room.

2. Ban him from building bombs.

3. Male him eat Max's cooking. (this would torture everyone.)

4. When he's at the beach shout, "Hey, look at that hot girl in the string bikini!"

5. Tell him he will never get a girlfriend because he is a blind mutant freak. (even though this isn't true.)

6. Tell him that he is wearing girl clothes.

7. Make him listen to Hannah Montana and High School Musical all day. (This would annoy almost anyone)

8. Make Angel tell Fang that he dreams of Max every night. Watch Fang beat Iggy up.

9. Tell him that Max can cook better than he can.

10. Remind him that his parents were going to use him for publicity. (around chapter 90 in schools out-forever.)

A/N: tada! Another chapter complete! Next is Nudge. And as always review and send in suggestions. Virtual homemade cookies for people who review!


	5. Chatterbox

**A/N: Wow I don't if anyone actually cared about this story but I'm ACTUALLY updating it! (I know I'm surprised too!) I know I had some suggestions for Nudge but I'm not sure if I'll use them this time or not cause I lost most of them and I don't feel like reading my reviews. So if I happened to use one you came up with credit go to you...Anyway! On with torturing Nudge!**

**Disclaimer: If I owned Maximum Ride I'd live in a mansion and have billions of dollars but since I don't have either clearly I don't own the epicness of Maximum Ride. :'(**

**NUDGE!**

1. Duct tape her mouth shut so she can't talk.

2. Tell her that wearing or owning anything pink is now illegal.

3. Tell her that they cancelled the rest of the Twilight movies. (**A/N: She seems like a twilight fan.)**

4. Switch her clothes with all of Fangs clothes and give Fang all of Nudges clothes **(A/N: Who said I couldn't torture Fang as well?)**

5. Make her wear unstylish things.

6. Tell her she belongs in the zoo because she's a freak. Watch her run away cring.

7. Tell her that the only options she has for a boyfriend is Gazzy.

8. Give her "The Talk"

9. Tell her that Taylor lautner died.

10. Tell her she's banned from the mall.

**A/N: Ok so these weren't my best...but I wanted to post something! Next I'm going to do Gazzy! Any suggestions? Send them in and I most likely will use it :D So review! Flames are always welcomed!**


	6. Gazzy

**A/N: Can it be? Has she actually updated? Yes yes I know. I'm horrible for not updating this more but whatever. At least I'm still updating it right? :) Anyways here is torturing Gazzy time. It was allot harder than I thought it would be.**

**DISCLAIMER: I am a highschool freshman. Not a famous Author.**

GAZZY!

1. Tell him that every time he farts it's a day closer to his death.

2. When he runs to tell Max deny everything.

3. Ban him from building bombs. **(A/N: So I took that from Chapter 4.)**

4. Tie him to a chair and make him watch Twilight with Nudge

5. Keep him tied up as Nudge goes on and on about how hot she thinks Jacob is.

6. Make him read Fax fanfics that are rated M **(A/N: Never again *shudders*)**

7. Even worse make him read Figgy rated M fanfics. **(A/N: Poor poor young Gazzy)**

8. Tell him that all flame throwers in the whole of the US have been destroyed. **~tarynmunchkin**

9. Tell him that Iggy set his shoes on fire and he will have to wear Nudge's until they can get him more. **~tarynmunchkin**

10. If Iggy ever isn't home tell gazzy that he (gazzy not iggy) had left a bomb laying around and iggy tripped on it and it blew up then later cover a room with a bunch of fake blood and fake organs and tell him that's where iggy died. **~ koko5x**

11. Lock him in a small room after feeding him beans. Watch as he dies of his own gas. **~Mr randomness**

12. Tell him you know what he was doing with Nudge last night. Proceed to tell Max. Tell her you tried to stop them. Watch Max kill him. Tell Max only afterwards that you were just joking. **~Mr randomness**

**A/N: Okay so next is Angel. Which will be really really REALLY fun. So expect a quicker update. Though no promises. Especially with school starting back up next week. But anyway this wasn't my best. Though I do think my favorite was number 1. Well thanks for reading :) And if anyone ever wants to use my ideas just ask and I'll most likely say yes...as long as you give me credit. Peace :)**

**A/N update: Also I kinda want atleast 5 reviews for this chapter before I do update which has happened for basicall every chapter. Anything works. So please review. even if it one says good...its better than nothing right? So please please pleasee.**


	7. Angel

A/N: Gosh...boy are you guys lucky that this isn't a story with cliff hangerss! I suck at updating this one. Maybe because I don't feel like I have to as much. Also everytime I attempt this...my mind goes blank. Im writing this on the spot. Seriously i opened a word document and am writing this before the actually story. Who knew torturing Angel would be so hard? Im still gonna use your guys stuff if you sent in suggestions...unless you pmed them too me. I kinda deleted those by mistake. So two more things. After this, I am making one more chapter and that,s only because now Dylan exist. So yay! I've already got a few for him tehehe. Also I would say and now it's time for the long awaited chapter but was this long awaited? I know I got some fans ( and I love ya'll for that) but seriously! 40 reviews is kinda amazing :)

AnGeL

1. Tell her everything cute and fluffy has been destroyed

2. When she doesnt believe you tell her fine look for Total and Celeste. Make sure you have them hidden.

3. Tell her the color pink had been banned **(A/N: yah I used this for Nudge)**

4. Give her a haircut to make her look like a boy.

5. Then dye her hair black.

6. Remind her that her parents sold her to the school.

7. Tell her shes the reason that Fang left the flock.

8. Remind her that she will never be the leader of the flock.

9. Buy a new bear and say you cleaned Celeste but destroy the oringinal one and while she's gone switch the new bear with the teared up on then blame Total for it. **~xNeedingHopeX**

10. Remind her constantly of how she can't read Jeb's mind. **~xNeedingHopex**

**A/N: So there we go! I don't really like it but its better than nothing right? Though you guys may like it. Anyway you might have like 2 messages about this story in your inbox...I had to rewrite it because my computer only saved my first author note for some odd reason. Anyway next and final chapter is Dylan! That will be fun! I already have a few thought up for him tehehe and remember suggestions are love :) Torturing Dylan is something im looking forward to. I might even actaully ahve something updated before Febuary! So please send in reviews and im so sorry about how this one turned out! just remember me for my earlier work! Oh two things and then ill shut up. My goal is that by the time I post the next chapter and a week has passed I would like 50 reviews in all. I have 40 now and have avereged bout 5 per chapter so its not really asking for much is it? Also maybe we can reach 1,000 hits? lets hope :) Those are my only two goal so **

**R&R?**


	8. Dylan

***NOTE* My former pin name was faxnesslover, so its the same as normal...I just changed it for many reasons.**

**A/N:** So, I was aiming to post this on the 17th but a big snow storm decided to take over exam week so are finals got pushed back a week, meaning this did too. But it was worth it since I made a 100 on my science final! Also, last chapter :( but more on that at the end A/N! Now time to torture dylan *laughs evily* coughcough...

**Disclaimer:** I own Max Ride and all of the character! Yeah I wish.

**Dylan D: **

1. Show him the wonders of Dylan's face jokes.

2. Tell him that 99% of the Maximum Ride fanbase hates his guts and show him all the mean comments they make about him.

3. Then, move on and show him all of the fanclubs made to hate him.

4. Inform him that he is a Justin Beiber wannabe.

5. Make a letter from " the president" saying that they are kicking him out of the US because hes unwanted and parents dont want their children seeing his face. Then give it to Dylan.

6. Tell him that under no circumstances will Max ever love him. Hope he runs out crying for a good laugh.

7. Blame him for Fang leaving the flock.

8. Make him read all of the fanfictions making fun of him (I reccomend Why The Flock Should Read Fanfiction by Fangolicious08)

9. Show him the Dylan's face twitter account.

10. Tell him that you were going to set up a facebook for him but even facebook didnt want his face on their site.

11. Tell him he's the reason kids have nightmares.

12. Tell him his face is the reason why iggys straight, the dinosaurs went extinct, and that theirs global warming.

13. Tell him that the super- awesome secret ninjas and Chuck Norris are out to destroy anything to do with Justin Beiber (which is his alter ego) **~EmpressOfSarcasm **

14. Tell him that Fang thinks he is SOOO hot. ~EmpressOfSarcasm 15. Poke him and run away screaming " I TOUCHED A GAY GUY!" **~ EmpressOfSarcasm **

16. Make Dylan perform the chicken dance or the macerena in front of tons of people. **~FangandIggyRule **

17. Tie Dylan up in a room with one of those mirror things where he can see in but the people inside can't see outside. Then put a bed inside and tell Max and Fang to habe sex in there, with Dylan still tied up and watching. **~FangandIggyRule **

**A/N:** Ah, that was fun but I feel like this turned more into an insult party :) and I hope their aren't too many mistakes because I'm doing this from my IPod. It's probably good this is the last chapter though! I feel like im losing my touch :3 Anyway, I would like to thank everyone who has read this, even more to the people who added this to their favorite story/alert list, and the most thanks goes to the reviewers! If I didn't get so many amazing reviews we might still be on chapter 2! I would love to thank certain people but then Id basically writing down every person who reviewed and that would be a long list :) So, (insert your name here) for reading this! I love you so much! You are amazing! I'd like to apologize for my lack of updating skils. Though I'm glad you guys waitied patiently and didnt send me tons of emails bothering me on why I wasn't updating. Im glad this was so well liked! When I started this, I was sick with the flu so I never expected any of this! I wouldve been happy with 8 reviews for the whole thing really. But I'm hoping that someday soon this will reach the 1,000 hit mark and reach 50 reviews :)

Also, who do you guys want to win the superbowl? Im hoping for and black and yellow victory!

My last favor to you guys, Please review, good or bad, on this chapter and/or the whole story. What you thought, your favorite chapter, your favorite torturing technique. Every person who reviews gets vertual bacon! The sad thing? This A/N is so long I'm going to need a new page soon! So my final sentence:

Eat bacon, Have a good laugh always, and thanks for reading!

**~LizTheBookNerd aka Faxnesslover :)**


	9. Because we love hatin on Dylan :

**A/N: Yes, another Dylan chapter :) **

Dylan...again!

1. Give him a note from "Max" saying that she finally admits that she loves him and wants him to meet her in her room tonight. Oh, and that she totally wants him to kiss her!

2. Record as he goes in the room and gets slapped and post it on YouTube.

3. When he blames you deny everything.

4. Tell him he made it into the world record book for ugliest face.

5. Make a lot of puns around him about his secret gayness.

6. Sing _If You Were Gay _every time he enters the room.

7. Tell him his face is the reason more girls are becoming lesbians and so many guys are becoming straight.

8. Tell him his face is the reason Simon quit American Idol.

9. Tell him his face is the only face Chuck Norris is afraid of.

10. Tell him hell doesn't even want him.

11. When about to go into public put a paper bag on his head and say "Wouldn't want to scare the Children!"

**A/N: Hope you liked :) Review please! I love that I got 446 hits on this yesterday but was kinda sad that only 2 reviews came out of it. Ohwell. Also, I'm rewriting Angel and if anyone feels the need to help torture her tell me and you can co-write it :) **

**Oh! And soon, I'm posting something I wrote in a moment of hatred to Dylan. So keep an eye out for it!**

**~LizTheBookNerd**


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